I think about all of the things I have had to learn over this past year, and I start comparing the year to the unrealistic goals I set for myself. For example, even though I have never admitted it out loud (although some of you who know me probably guess this) I wanted to be fluent in Spanish by the first year. I am not. It is true, that I can hold more than an hour conversation in my new language with out switching to English for even one word, but I am not pretending that I am graceful at it. Plus I am pretty sure that most "real speed Spanish" passes me by.
It is also true, that as a professor of English I can not force myself to practice Spanish for hours a day. I try when I drag myself in the door at 9:30pm from a day of classes, but some nights I just do not care enough too. Plus it is really hard to switch a household language. You just forget and start talking in the default language. It takes a constant effort to keep in the other language, for both of us.
I was also expecting to know Spain more when this year was up. I do not just mean knowing where all of the providences are, although that would be nice and I am almost there, but to know the country. The more I thought about this goal over the year, the more I knew that it was unobtainable. So, I thought, I'll know Madrid. That seems to be an unobtainable goal too. Sure, I know my neighborhood fairly well but I am learning you just can not know a big city/country in one year. There is too much to learn. For example I do not drive here in Madrid (good lord a year without driving), and I never noticed that the center double line in the street is white, and not yellow. That simple fact floored me for days. How could I not know something so simple? What other details have I missed out on?
Never mind that fact that my husband lived in the States for 10 years and was still shocked by the little things, I had set higher goals for myself. HAHA So now that I have set myself up for disappointment I find that I have blogger's block.
And we will not even talk about the fact that I already feel like I need to do something big for Thursdays blog post, sigh.
Random pictures, because bloggers block extends to photos too:
The roses are blooming wilding in Madrid. They are huge!